Ouch, its painful GOD, but i surrender to you

I went through a very saddening experience today
To cut the long story short,
We did not make it into the band competition.

I felt that Messenger did a great showdown today.
Messenger you guys sounded wonderful today yeah.
We were all very confident but GOD chose to shut that door.

I was deeply deeply depressed.
It was a feeling that i have not felt for so so long.
The feeling when i was a small kid jumping and screaming my lungs out
of wanting that wonderful toy on the rack, but just gotta bid Goodbye
and to swallow the fact that you can't get it no more.

I asked God while i was driving back 'Why Why Why Why Why?'
I heard the small still voice of GOD, it was a very simple answer.
'Because I love you.' I was like... huh?
God led me back to what i always say and believe.
'If you consider yourself as a child of GOD, there's no such thing as an accident.'
What does it mean when you sing at the altar
'Lord I offer my life to you, everything I have been through?'- I offer my life by hillsongs

I went home and did my favourite thing.
Lie on bed and stare at the ceiling.
This time with Henry Seely singing 'rain down' on my com while it was raining heavily outside. Just the right weather for a sad man.
And in the mp3, Henry said 'Lift your hands and sing it for your family, your church, your school' I lift my hands and surrender everything to GOD.
I felt that the touch of GOD reaching out for my hand and pulling me up to sit beside his
throne just like what Pastor Khong had preached about last week.

Have I surrendered? Yes I have.
Is the pain still there? Yes it is. Hurts so badly.
BUT...I believe that there are still lessons that GOD wants to teach me through
this experience. Pray with me that i'll see it and learn that fast.