i am stoned.
due to lack of sleep.
and this morning as i stonedly waited upon the Lord,
i was brought to,
" At this they wept again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law good-by, but Ruth clung to her. " - Ruth 1:14
just yesterday i had witnessed a little girl clinging to her daddy,
and that particular image reappeared in my mind.
i felt the call for me was to cling to God.
no matter what the circumstance.
whether bleak or uncertain or hopeless.
we still shall cling.
strongly.
firmly.
faithfully.
believing.
like a little child.
shall we be like ORPAH (Orpah, not Oprah)?
who deserts for her selfish ambition after hearing about the bleak future?
or shall we be like RUTH?
who clings on irregardless of situation, of circumstance?
because she has only one person in her heart.
i want to cling on.
*cue music: "Jesusiwillliveforyou..ineverythingido..i'm holding on to you. always and forever."
these few days i have been feeling rather lost. more like, discouraged.
about my direction in life.
as in, i know God will be part of it, but i'm unsure as to what role i'm gonna play specifically.
most directly, i'm having second thoughts about my university course of choice.
namely, materials science and engineering.
usually ppl go, "huh, what's that?" or, "..engineeringgg?" or just, "..oh."
and everyone's doing something else more spectacular.
and my mum tells me stuff like, "eh son, did u read the papers? engineers earn the lowest, leh!" and, "..all engineers are boring!" and, "go and try this and this or that, la!" wah, thanks man..
and sometimes i really wonder if i'm doing the right thing.
maybe it was my decision?
maybe i should do something more prestigious and glorify God through that?
after all, God didn't give me good grades just to do engineering?
why am i doing a course that ppl with C-C-C can do, too?
am i wasting my potential?
what will become of me in future?
i know God has riches in store for me, but looking at engineers' pay, how is that possible?
how how why why what shall i do?
doubts.
worries.
i just want to do God's will.
but i don't know what.
o Lord, that u give me a SIGN! just say the WORD. make it CLEAR. and i will DO it.
or maybe i shall just marry a billionaire's daughter and remain unemployed forever.
and so, i certainly felt this Scripture was timely.
it showed how Ruth just clung to her mother-in-law, despite knowing she will most probably face a bleak future. and she was blessed.
o Lord, i will cling to you forever. despite what others say. whatever the circumstance. just let me KNOW that it is your will, and i will do it.
brothers, do u need assurance?
CLING to the Lord, above all else.
like a child clings to its daddy.
3 comments:
Go pray about it. Top engineers earn more than architects you know? And pls. never judge a course by the grades people enter with. There are ppl in Archi and Arts who enter with those results too. Point is, God made all of us differently.
There is nothing wrong with engineering. And search your heart, is it really to glorify God? God does not need us to do prestigious things to glorify Him. Mother Teresa didn't have a prestigious job at all. She just served the poor throughout her life.
What is your potential? Sometimes, we take a longer journey to find out. But it's ok. What is your future? It is what you make out of it. Remember the principle of you reap what you sow? What is your motivation? To please God? Then the question is in the being rather than in the doing.
And God didn't give you good grades so that you can just do engineering. He gave you good grades so that you can glorify Him. And He gave many engineers good grades too. Because it takes good brains and hard work to be a good engineer. Don't look down on the engineering profession like that pls.
hmm, yup. good points.
i hate it when my mum tells me that so-and-so is studying what-and-what in some foreign country like, mum what are u trying to tell me?
i think what i really need is a sign from God to encourage and confirm that what i'm doing is what God really intends for me. i'm just afraid i may have made a choice which is mine alone and not God's.
That's a good start. :) My mum does it to me too. She can't wait for me to start working. She will tell me that my cousin is earning 3000+ lah, then got send overseas by the company etc. Ha ha. I also I asked her what her point is.
In the end, our parents just want us to do well. Sometimes they don't understand that doing well to us means more than monetary gains. We want to be passionate about what we do and to obey God in His directing. This also reflects the lack of communication that we have we our parents. We need to learn to discuss more with them. To let them know our reasons and our motivation. We need to talk more with them.
Let's make effort to do so. I am growing in this area also. :)
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